Housekeeping issues & I got me a bottom bitch!

by PWSux on June 16, 2011

In a positively amazing coincidence, no sooner did I run UnREEL OK Housewife off and the site went over 10,000 visits a day, Google Adsense fired me.

Fuckers.

It seems that at 11:57 pm last night they sent me an email notifying me that they had disabled my account, were canceling all scheduled payments to me (couple hundred), and would appreciate a refund of what they sent me last month.

Fuckers.  Not even the courtesy of a reach around ya know?

Anyway, they did tell me that they had been “notified by a third party” that my site “has the POTENTIAL for invalid clicks”.  My mother always wanted me to have potential. And wasn’t that thoughtful of that third party.  Bless your heart sweetie.

So my ultimate goal for the site of earning millions a year isn’t going so well – I’m about $999,850 short.  But unlike Ree Drummond, I’m absolutely not afraid to share these details with you.  I’m not afraid to let you know that there really isn’t that much I wouldn’t do for money.  I mean, there’s a few things, but honestly, shockingly few.  I’ll whore myself out to the highest bidder like nobody’s business.   I’ll take pictures of myself in a bathtub covered in money and I’ll pimp Bush’s bush or baked beans either one.  You name it.

Several people have mentioned putting up a Paypal Donate button and adding the link to the Cafe Press store which got me thinking, not only would I love to sit around on my ass getting paid to blog like all the other less-talented-than-me bloggers out there, but the idea of a site earning money from the people who see through Ree Drummond’s bullshit?  Well that idea sounded pretty good.  Sort of ironic.  Like Karma.

But with the forums and interacting with all the budget people, well I’m just so busy and life is crazy right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t gone through 500 lbs of butter in the past two weeks or anything, but still, I’ve got an empire to run and hardly have a minute to spare. And that’s when it hit me.

I NEED A PERSONAL ASSISTANT!

You bet yer ASS I need a personal assistant!  I need a bottom bitch that can do all the mundane everyday activities like weed my garden (notice the sexual undertone, trying to appeal to the Wieners of the world) and keep track of which coffins I leave my panties in, cause let me tell you that shit happens all the time around here.

Cat, Chaps & Emma has graciously agreed to serve as my bottom bitch and handle the pesky financial details of this site.  Her head will spin when the book offers start rolling in.  I plan to watch Flipping Out to get some tips on how to deal with underlings.

So, to sum up so I can get back to drinking, this site and my account at the liquor store will be funded by donations and to start things off I will put the Donate button in this post.  Once I sober up I’ll move it over to the sidebar and you can donate at will, any amount, a dollar here or there will go far in showing your support AGAINST Ree Drummond.  A vote for me is a vote against Ree!

Just kidding on that last part.  A vote for me means you’re entertained 🙂

If I get an ad request then I’ll remove the donate button while the ad is running.

And say it with me now……

GOOGLE ADSENSE SUX!  FUCKERS!





If you provide a link to your site on the donate form, I’ll put you in my blogroll. You know, so you feel all loved and stuff and get something in return. FOR THOSE WHO HAVE ALREADY SENT something, please email me and let me know if you have a site you’d like to link. I will try to email each of you but I’m not sure if I have them all.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart – I’m shocked. Really shocked.

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